Could God Be Up To Something?

Well, we are back! We went to East Tennessee to find a place to live in our price range and guess what? You’ll have to wait until I get to it:) We took off about 5 AM Monday morning after another busy Sunday of services so you know it was a “happy” car-full. Although we were going to our favorite vacation retreat center in the world, (and the one who has the awesome pastor discount!) it wasn’t going to be a vacation. We were driving nine hours to spend one day looking for a rental home and drive nine hours back the following day. Brutal! We told everyone we were going to look at the “prospects” we found, what we didn’t expect to find out was that there was none to look at when we arrived. Our extremely helpful real estate agent basically struck out adding that there were usually a bunch but this time there was nothing in our price range except a little house that was way too small for us and a “possible“ place for rent from some guy named Doug who owned a store in town. We were very depressed after arriving around 4 PM. We decided to drive around town and find the rentals for ourselves. Three hours later we found nothing but “for sale” houses and only one rental we couldn’t even afford to drool over. We got back to the cabin totally bummed out. The only thing left was to try to call Doug, whoever that was.

Well we looked up the business in the phone book and tried to call...no answer, it was closed for the day. Let’s just say that it was not the “happy camper” family that went to sleep that night. We did a lot of praying and I got up early the next morning still praying. Then we called the business again. Doug answered and said that he did have a place for rent but we couldn’t see it. It seems it was vacated (abandoned is more like it) by a family staying there from Texas after Katrina. They really roughed the place up and left it full of junk and he said it was too messy to show. I felt that propriety was a non-issue at this point and I said that we really needed to see something before we went home adding, very emphatically, that we did not care how messy it was!

Now we had been praying for a number of things regarding a place to live. We really wanted our own place, not an apartment. We did not want to live in the larger city in the area but in a more country setting. And, we wanted to be allowed to have our cat with us (she’s been with us ten years...gee whiz, give us a break!) . Then, getting really greedy, we wanted the kids to have their own rooms still. And when I felt like pushing it to the limit, I would “remind” the Lord that we felt he was leading us to start a home worship service and we would need space in our living room to do that. All this for $500 a month or less! Yeah...that’s what I thought too...crazy!

Doug agreed to show us the place and gave us the address saying that it was a three-bedroom (one point!). We got there and found an older but pretty well maintained manufactured home on a pretty mountain road and through the trees in the back yard we could see mountains in the distance (two points!). We walked in and found a large main living room/dining area combined (three points!) and a huge screened in back porch (bonus point!). When I asked about pets he just said, “no problem”. That was it, no pet deposit, no distasteful bitter “sorry, no pets” just, “no problem” (five points!). I like this guy already! Then he showed us the hot tub in a separate porch area (he just broke the grade curve!). Don’t get the wrong idea, it was just an older mobile home and not the Hilton. BUT TALK ABOUT AN ANSWER TO PRAYER!!!

So to make a long story longer, Doug and I shook hands on the deal, we paid our deposit and are moving in ten days. We get to keep the cat. And since we are up in the mountains, we will be adding a dog to the family (which my son has longed passionately for ever since he was old enough to imitate one). We have enough room to do lots of stuff, near the city (10-15 minutes) but still out in the country, have a mountain view (and a hot tub...woohoo!) and we are wondering how we could have ever doubted the God who called us out. Thank you to everyone who has been praying for us. More than this answer to prayer is the affirmation of the truth that God is orchestrating everything, He definitely goes ahead of us and we don’t have to worry about my job or how we will be cared for. He is our sustenance...

Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:3-4 NKJV).

Tired of the Whining!

Whining! I get so much of that as a pastor and get so tired as I think, "can't you just trust God? Can't you get over yourself and your petty needs and just trust God to work it out?" Then I found myself asking God this morning, "what will we do about a place to live? How come we haven't any validation for our steps of faith? How will we live? Where will I work? Waaah waaaah waaaaaah!" God began to speak to my heart, "haven't you used the term 'great adventure' to describe your future?" 'yes', "what adventurer ever waited until they had a homestead before setting out? No, adventurers set out and trust me for their provision, don't sit around whining because they are scared, and are more excited about the possibilities than fearful of the realities!"

When I think of the sleepy little churches that I have seen in the past. I remember thinking, "this isn't the CHURCH! Where is the passion? Where is the fire?" It isn't about jumping people talking in tongues and falling out on the floor in giggling heaps either. I remember, as a new Christian, attending a singing groups concert with a friend at a Pentecostal church. There were people waving arms in the air, shouting in tongues and jumping around. And then there was my friend and I, quiet and reserved Nazarenes. But I had to admit (not being used to contemporary worship) I was overwhelmed in the midst of worship and just felt myself carried away in the spirit. Afterwards, one of the singers came up and introduced herself and chatted with us a minute. Then she said something that really surprised me, she said, "you know, I noticed you guys during the music and you were REALLY worshipping!" Since then I realized something about worship, its more than the show you can put on with shouts and ecstatic displays which has never been something I could conjure up. It's about a heart that really reaches out to touch the Spirit of the Living God and to submit to what the Spirit of God desire to put within you.

The same goes for those whom God has called out. It's more than just the show, the examples of provision and proof of God's power. It's a desire to be faithful, to walk in the Spirit and to do, even the very menial tasks God gives us with all our might! I do not know what lies ahead but I know who goes with me. If God has called me then he will enable me, with the gifts he has already given or with divine empowerment, to accomplish those things he has placed in my heart.

Sick as a Dawg but full of hope!

I have been sick as a dawg this last week and a half. I thought I was getting better then overdid it and have had a rough time these last few days. I am coming out of the haze, though feeling better today than I have in a long time. This blog is serving as our journal through our "process". My husband is the excited blogger while I am the more reluctant one. So it is my job to blog at least once a week. He has been reminding me everyday to do it. So just to please him, I am writing today.

For the past week I have struggled with my daily prayer time, needless to say, when you are sick I think that just happens. But the times I have been able to read the Lord has really given me some Scriptures I have taken to heart. I am just going to share some with you. So here goes:

Revelation 3:8 "I know your works. See, I have set before you an open door, and no one can shut it; for you have a little strength, have kept My word, and have not denied my name." I have truly identified with the little strength this last week.

Psalm 33:20-22 "We wait in hope for the Lord; he is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. May your unfailing love rest upon us, O Lord, even as we put our hope in you."

Psalm 34:8-10 "Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him. Fear the Lord, you his saints, for those who fear him lack nothing. The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing."

Psalm 34: 17-18 "The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."

Psalm 36: 5-8 " Your love, O Lord, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies. Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains, your justice like the great deep. O Lord, you preserve both man and beast. How priceless is your unfailing love! Both high and low among men find refuge in the shadow of your wings, They feast on the abundance of your house; you give then drink from your river of delights."

Christy

The Deed Is Done

well yesterday was the day. I informed the church that we were leaving the week after Easter. I sort of weaved it in a sermon and was concerned that some more "thoughtful" people might space out and miss it. But, I didn't have to worry. Though the only people who knew we were resigning was the board, who I knew I could count on for discretion, it seemed the information wagon did its job and even first time visitors knew we were leaving before the start of the service. Yes, you can always count on the grape-vine to bring forth its bounty...amen.

I was very nervous at first but when the time came I felt a tremendous peace that remains with me to this moment. I know God is leading even though every intellectual fiber of my brain says, "what are you doing!?!" We still don't have a place to live. I don't doubt we can find something to get us by for a year but, pardon my fanciful spirituality, I really want to see God provide something. Be it ever so small and grungy, something that, without a doubt, came from his hand. The circumstances are different, but like Jonah, we have cast ourselves on the sea of God's grace and provision and we want our big fish to come by! No, it wasn't the best accomodation money could buy but it served the purpose. It kept him safe and sound and got him where he needed to go next. And it was, without a doubt sent from the hand of God!

Employment I don't worry so much about. We have enough savings to get us by while I look and there are ample opportunities. I have a degree and experience in the social work profession. But I am leaning toward some other employment, probably in one of the factories around the area that seem to have many openings. I have a feeling that I am not going to want to exhaust all my relational energy at work. If I do something mechanical (and that will probably bring me more pay than a social work job) then perhaps I won't want so much to get away from people after work like I do now. Plus a second shift job would allow me time to go hiking and stuff like that during the day. Oh well, this one is in God's hands too.

Obviously there are many unanswered questions and an even greater amount of trust in God's guidance and provision in this move. I don't think I'd want it any other way.

Top 10 Things We Learned In Jerseyville!

Christy and I have been doing a lot of reflecting while trying to keep our minds off the fact we do not currently have a place to live and have 3 weeks left on our notice period. We asked ourselves if we had been "happy" here at Jerseyville and concluded that we had been "happy" in a content sort of way. We likened these last two years to a long car trip that necessitated an overnight stay on the way to our destination. We are glad to stop at a motel and rest but there is still a need to continue the journey. Contentment comes from knowing when to get up the next morning, check out and continue the trip. So, we began to consider, is that all Jerseyville is to us? What was the purpose, point, benefit of being here. I know that we served as the pastoral family to this church, people were brought into the Body of Christ, and I did my best to counsel, serve, love and share from God's word. But in a truly selfish sense (sometimes you have to look at that), what was the point of sticking us here just to move us on in 18 months? We concluded that it was a recovery and resting period to restore us after a pretty bad experience at my first church. But then, as we thought further, we realized that being here at Jerseyville had taught us many things. Our conversation led us to list what we learned and we easily came up with the "Top 10 Things We Learned In Jerseyville!" And so, without further ado, here it is...


#10 JP learned that he had a supressed (and rather child-like) attraction for percussion instruments of African origin (woohoo! boom, boom, boom!)

#9 Christy learned that she had the gift and talents to be an exceptional stay-at-home-mom and homeschooler!

#8 JP learned that he was not a ministry-misfit, but that he could be "successful" as a traditional pastor (even though he now knows that this is not the kind of minister he is to be).

#7 Christy learned that worship was more than just music and first had the freedom to explore this concept at Jerseyville.

#6 JP learned that he could help lead singing with the guitar (having never before played for large groups) and even keep a steady rhythm (most of the time).

#5 Christy learned that she is a genius at budgeting (while JP learned he is an utter moron at budgeting).

#4 JP learned that (according to the NewStart assessment team, bless thier hearts) we have the gifts and graces to start a new church.

#3 Christy learned that she had more gifts than just leading music and practiced many forms of creative worship while at Jerseyville.

#2 JP learned that mowing a lawn for three hours is more fun if you aren't the only person on the mower list!

And the number one thing we learned during our time at Jerseyville Illinois...


#1 Christy learned that "IT'S NOBODYS BUSINESS BUT MY OWN IF I WANT TO WEAR PANTS TO CHURCH!!!"

I Believe It's Time For Me To Fly!

Well were off! Finally the time has come for the dreaded traditional church board meeting resignation thing. And it was just as crummy as I expected. All the unhealthy relationships, transferring and old wounds inflicted by a dozen other pastors and church members came out. Tears, anger, accusations and the old, “I know you are following God but why?” What higher praise for a minister than to be spoken to as if God were not in the equation when making a life changing decision for he and his family! The one I liked best was being accused of being “misleading”, why? Because new people were attached to me and might leave now. I guess being kind and encouraging church attendance was the wrong approach, I suppose I should have been rude and nasty to people so they would not become attached to me. Just another example of the twisted thinking that infects so many institutional churches. I was very thankful when a PK board member stated very simply, "I am not surprised, I could tell this was coming from the direction of your sermons and ministry. And you have to go where God leads you". Thank God some folks see things through lenses of faith!

On the positive side we begin the new journey that has been incubating in our hearts for two years now. This is a real leap of faith as we don’t have a home picked and, though there are lots of possibilities for employment where we are going (East Tennessee), I do not have a definite source of income at present. Woohooo, jump on God’s roller coaster! We are not taking a church or have any intention of re-entering the traditional/institutional church environment (thank you, Lord!). Our last Sunday is Easter Sunday and we head out the following week. We covet the prayers of all our family and friends who will be keeping up with us. It is our deepest desire that our children along with their parents will truly experience God’s power and provision in their lives. We may not have much (and we do live within our means...poor), but we want to learn to be thankful and rich in provision from the hand of God. It won’t be easy leaving this middle class life on a below-poverty level income. And we can’t think of anything more exciting!

I do.......

Last night, my husband resigned his position as Senior Pastor of a small church in Illinois. Yesterday was our anniversary- 13 years. So many things have gone through our minds. I was reminded of the monumental decision I made 13 years ago when I said “I do”. You see 13 years ago we eloped on our Spring Break at Trevecca. There were very few people who knew about it, our friends were shocked and some eyebrows were raised at our seemingly spontaneous action. But God was working behind the scene arranging things that no one else knew about. His timing proved perfect in more than one situation. Was I scared? You bet- scared to death at 19 to be marrying some ex-druggie become Christian but I loved him and still do. Besides becoming a Christian, he was and has been the best thing that ever happened to me.

Now, to the present- last night we took a monumental step- a leap of faith if you will. We feel God has said- “Do you believe me?” “I do”; “Do you trust me to meet your needs and provide for your family?” “I do”; “Will you follow me though the path looks hard and you cannot see very far ahead?” “I will”. God has been working in our hearts in ways that people cannot even begin to know or understand. Just like 13 years ago, people will be shocked, eyebrows will be raised and some people will just feel they have been wronged. But when God calls, our only answer can be- I WILL!!- WE WILL!!!