Faithful to God's Call

It's been a while and to be honest that is probably because of discouragement on our part. To quote an old theologian: "I'm in a hurry and God is not". It amazes me just how much God wants to speak to our situations in life. I read through several devotion books as well as a read the Bible through the year devotional called My Utmost Devotional Bible. This is today's reading just for us at this time. God is so awesome.

"Faithful to God's Call- Jonah 1:1-3

The discernment of God's call does not come in every moment of life, but only in rare moments; the moments our Lord spoke of as "the light." We have to remain true to what we see in those moments; if we do not, we will put back God's purpose in our life. the undercurrent of regret arises when we confer with those who have not hear the call of God, and if we listen to them we get into darkness. (NOT KNOWING)

Arguers against obeying the call of God will arise in the shape of country and kindred, and if you listen to them you will soon dull your ears to God's call and become the dullest, most commonplace Christian imaginable, because you have no courage in your faith; you have seen and heard, but have not gone on. If you accept sympathy from those who have not heard the call of God, it will so blunt your own sense of His call that you become useless to Him. (NOT KNOWING)

You hear the call of God and realize what He wants, then you begin to find reasons why you should not obey Him. Well, obey Him, because away in some other part of the world there are other circumstances being worked by God, and if you say- "I shan't, I wasn't made for this" you get out of touch with God. Your "goings" are not according to your mind, but according to God's mind. Remain true at all costs to what God is doing with you and don't ask why He is doing it." (NOT KNOWING)

Friend, remain true to what God is calling you to do. It may be hard but God is always faithful. We feel we are on a threshold at this point in time. Waiting is hard to do but God is drawing us ever more into His presence. Don't give up the call even if it seems strange or crazy to you. If you have given yourself to God, He decides how you are to be used. Just be available and don't quit.

Hinds' Feet On High Places

I have been reading this piece of classic Christian literature- Hinds' Feet on High Places by Hannah Hurnard. It is an allegory a lot like Pilgrim's Progress except the main character is a woman. I was looking for something new to read and have seen this on the shelf many times. I picked it up finally this week and it's been hard to put down.

The main character, Much-Afraid is from the Fearing family. She broke away to follow the Shepherd and now He wants to take her from the Valley of Humiliation to the High Places. The book chronicles her journey with her two companions- Sorrow and Suffering. I have so identified with this character. Being at home at night while my husband works second shift really brings out my anxious heart. Also, this new chapter in our ministry is a little scary. I prayed that the Lord would speak to me through this book and He has especially through the dialogue shared between Much-Afraid and the Shepherd.

One in particular comes when Much-Afraid is faced with a sheer cliff she must climb in order to follow the path of the Shepherd. The Shepherd knows her concerns about having to go this way. He reminds her if she wants hinds' feet she must go the way of the hind to develop them. She says she's not sure she wants them if that is what it takes. The Shepherd almost laughs as he says: "Oh, yes you do, I know you better than you know yourself, Much-Afraid. You want it very much indeed, and I promise you these hinds' feet. Indeed, I have brought you on purpose to this back side of the desert, where the mountains are particularly steep...." He reminds her of something He said earlier "Now thou shalt see what I will do." She says "Why, it's too preposterously absurd! It's crazy! Whatever will you do next?"

That sums up exactly how we have felt from the beginning of this journey. We know God has called us here and sometimes everything seems so crazy. There is excitement and fear all rolled up in one. Much-Afraid faces more on this journey and at times she listens to the voices telling her she is headed in the wrong direction, but yet she trusts the Shepherd. Although the Way to the High Places seems at times to lead in the opposite direction, she stays on the path. She is willing to trust even though it means giving up everything.

God sometimes takes us through things in our lives on purpose to develop His Ways in us. May I be like Much-Afraid and follow the Shepherd no matter the cost.

Happy Birthday, Daniel

Daniel's birthday was August 29th but last night he experienced a different kind of birthday. As you have already read, we broke away yesterday for a worship experience in the woods. As we were on the third mile of the four mile hike, Daniel started talking to me. I cannot remember the exact words but he said something along the lines of I cannot have Jesus in my heart because I haven't been baptized. I explained that you didn't have to be baptized first all you have to do is pray and Jesus will live in your heart. He answered okay I'll do that when we get back to the car or we get home. I went on to ask him if he did bad stuff and he said yes as he begins to list his latest offenses. Then he changed the subject. I didn't want to push him so we left it at that. As I was praying with him at bedtime, I prayed first with my usual prayer for his salvation and when I was done He prayed his bedtime prayers which consists of "Dear Heavenly Father, help me to know you." He had barely said amen when he said he needed to kneel down and ask Jesus to come into his heart. I explained he could pray where he was but he insisted he had to kneel down. We kneeled down beside his bed and I led him (more like stammered through) the sinner's prayer. When he got up, he ran out to tell JP and Tera just beaming from ear to ear. JP explained that now Daniel was not only his son but his brother as well. Daniel latched onto that. I went to tuck him in and in the sweetest voice you ever heard-Daniel said "I love you, sister." That was music to this mother's heart. I have had the privilege of leading both my children to the Lord.

Happy Birthday, Daniel!

Following The Right Path

Today was the first time we decided to separate completely from our old routine and begin to allow God to develop a new pattern for worship apart from what we have always known. Until now we figured we would continue in a local church waiting for some kind of message from God saying, "OK, go now and do something different!" But we realized that this already happened when we were called to come out here in the first place. So we took what we already loved to do and became more intentional about it; turning what was a recreational activity into a worship event.




Today we hiked the Little Greenbrier School trail to the Walker Sisters cabin, about a four mile hike. Before the hike during breakfast we read Psalm 119:105-106 together, "Your Word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. I have sworn and confirmed that I will keep your righteous judgments". Then on the trail we talked about the path we were taking. I asked the kids, "what would this trail look like if it were a moonless night? What if we decided we would forge our own trail and go tromping off through the woods? Why is it important to follow the path already laid out here before us?" The kids already know how to identify several types of plants such as Mountain Laurel, Dog Hobble, and Rhododendron. The know that Dog Hobble are thorny vines that can stop a pack of dogs running through the woods. They talked of the "Laurel Hells" that can trap hikers. These are patches of growth with Dog Hobble and Mountain Laurel (a tangly vine) on the floor of the forest and Rhododendron at body level above the ground. Getting lost in a Laurel Hell means getting tangled up and disoriented so that, even seasoned hikers, could get trapped and end up dying of thirst or starvation before finding a way out or being rescued.

By the time we arrived at the Walker Sisters cabin the kids already had summarized the message for the day. The path through the forest is like the path of life and God's Word, the Bible, is the guide that helps us stay on the right path. Choosing to forge our own path apart from God's Word is to end up lost and entangled by bad choices and disorienting voices in our world. But even in the dark times God's Word will show us the way. Through this exercise the kids not only reinforced things they learned about the forest, but also learned to apply this knowledge to their spiritual walk. These little five and seven year old children could repeat a Biblical lesson on a level of understanding they may have never obtained from a traditional church service. I think we are on the right path!

The Power of Prayer

While the kids had "revised morning school", JP took Buddy for his walk. Through several different situations ( a dog without a lease freaking Buddy out, an older man whose dog broke its chain and then lunged at Buddy, the older man getting up to catch his dog, etc), Buddy slipped his collar and ran off. When Buddy gets out of his collar, it's bad. He will not, I mean will not come to you. The bike trail is off of a four lane busy highway divided by a median. JP calls me on the cell phone which I "accidently" left in the car last night. Now I believe it was more Providence than an accident. He says pray because Buddy slipped out of the collar and is now in the middle of this highway running back and forth and sometimes just standing there while cars and motorcycles are driving by him. We immediately got off the phone to pray. I prayed God would put his angels around Buddy and protect him. We went back to work and less than 5 minutes later, JP called again. Buddy had run back to the car, then ran off but eventually came back and jumped in. It was crazy. JP said Buddy was in the middle of this street and it was a miracle he wasn't hit. God answers prayers!

August 27th Streams in the Desert

"Taken aside by Jesus,

To feel the touch of His hand;

To rest for a while in the shadow

Of the Rock in a weary land.

Taken aside by Jesus,

In the loneliness dark and drear,

Where no other comfort may reach me,

Than His voice to my heart so dear.

Taken aside by Jesus,

To be quite alone with Him,

To hear His wonderful tones of love

'Mid the silence and shadows dim.

Taken aside by Jesus,

Shall I shrink from the desert place;

When I hear as I never heard before,

And see Him 'face to face?"

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Have you ever felt like this?

This is Buddy's pose during a thunderstorm. He can hear thunder before we hear it. Sometimes in life, we feel like Buddy. We feel like hiding behind a bunch of pillows in a safe place. We are overwhelmed by the world and we're scared. But we have a promise to carry with us.

Jesus says to us in John 16:33
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

Can you take it in stride when the floor's caving in?

It is hard to take life "in stride". Tera's room had a mysterious hump in the carpet which has gotten worse. The dip near the hump is now very weak and saging. So basically it seems the floor in that spot is caving in. JP has reassured me that won't happen but with everything else we have had to deal with it is hard to take it "in stride". We have left a message for the landlord about it but we will have to wait and see. As I was on the verge of tears this morning, I sat down with my devotional books- a mom's devotion and my Oswald Chambers "My Utmost Devotion Bible". That is usually where I head when things to me look darkest and it always seems there is something there that speaks to my situation. The first thing I read was that God is our rescuer and we need to wait patiently for him to deliver us. It may not be the way that we would like but He never abandons us or deserts us even when the floor around us seems like it is caving in. In Oswald Chambers the devotion was entitled "The Shape of the Vision".

It reads:
Thank God for the sight of all you have never yet been. The vision is not an ectasy or a dream, but a perfect understanding of what God wants, it is the divine light making manifest the calling of God. You may call the vision an emotion or a desire, but it is something that absorbs you. Learn to thank God for making known His demands. You have had the vision, but you are not there yet by any means. You have seen what God wants you to be but what you are not yet. Are you prepared to have this "iron dug from central gloom" battered into "shape and use"? "Battering" conveys the idea of a blacksmith putting good metal into right useful shape. The batterings of God come in commonplace days and commonplace ways. God is using the anvil to bring us into the shape of the vision. The length of time it takes God to do it depends upon us. If we prefer to loll on the mount of transfiguration, to live on the memory of the vision, we are of no use to live with the ordinary stuff of which human life is made up. We have not to live always in ectasy and conscious contemplation of God, but to live in reliance on what we saw in the vision when we are in the midst of actualities. It is when we are going through the valley to prove whether we will be the "choice" ones, that most of us turn tail; we are not prepared for the blows which must come if we are going to be turned into the shape of the vision.

I definitely will not tuck my tail between my legs and run away from the battle but I will learn to rely more and more upon the One who has already won the war!

Wisdom from The Railway Children

I am reading The Railway Children by Edith Nesbit to the kids one chapter at a time. They really enjoy this classic story of three children whose father is falsely accused of a crime and imprisoned. The children are not aware of what has happened for most of the book. The book focuses on their adventures as they move into a very modest country home by the railroad with their mother. Their mother writes stories as a means of support for herself and the children. This is a quote from today's reading:


(Mother talking to Peter)
"Don't you think it's rather nice to think that we're in a book that God's writing? If I were writing a book, I might make mistakes. but God knows how to make the story end just right-in the way that's best for us."

"Do you really believe that , Mother?" Peter asked quietly.

"Yes," she said, " I do believe it- almost always-except when I'm so sad that I can't believe anything. But even when I can't believe it, I know it's true-and I try to believe it."

I really like that conversation. When things are hard, we know that God is working everything out for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. Let our hardships and struggles give Him glory always and point others to Him.

Overtime Shuffle

We haven't updated recently just because for me personally I haven't really had a stream of creativity. JP worked 14 hours of overtime last week and is set to have 7-8 by the end of this week with July Fourth off. This will continue he has been told until the end of the month. He comes in an hour early and stays an hour late. This does help us financially but we are all tired. JP accidentally overslept this morning and had to rush out the door to be an hour late for work. He is a very conscientious worker so he felt really bad about it. I felt bad for him too.

My constant prayer has been for God's provision during this difficult time and He has been faithful to do it through JP's work and other means we never planned on. We have to trust God that right now He is using this overtime as a means of provision for us. We also rely on His promise that He will not put more on us than we can bear. God is taking care of us each step of the way and we are learning more and more to trust Him. After you have been a Christian for a long time, there is a temptation to become comfortable where you are and not realize the extent to which we are so far from where we should be. This experience has shown me that to grow closer to God we have to be willing to be tested by fire and refined as silver.

I was reading in Psalms 66 yesterday and these verses stood out to me:

For you, O God, tested us; You refined us like silver.

You brought us into prison and laid burdens on our backs.

You let men ride over our heads; we went through fire and water,

but You brought us to a place of abundance.

Did you noticed how many You's with a capital there are in those verses? God uses hard times in our lives to bring us into a place of spiritual abundance. I am learning to let go and let God work and move. He is so much more equipped than I am.

Update

The temptation of having a blog is to create elaborate posts that are attention grabbers like magazine articles. Well...I like that so I will keep doing it! But for this post I thought I might update all our friends and family. First, I have to tell everyone that I have gone to a first shift (7-3:30) position while I wait for an opportunity to re-apply to Denso Manufacturing. I was not hired on my first attempt most likely due to my lack of manufacturing experience. I was told I could re-apply in six months. I had been working second shift but Christy did not like being home alone at night so I requested this change and they granted it. I did move however from the electronics plant across the street to the starter/alternator plant. It's more like a traditional factory and much more relaxed. I like it a lot even though I caused three trays of starter housings worth about $120 to fall on the floor on my first day!

Another recent event was our District campmeeting. It was out at the Foothills campground (our Nazarene campground). The services were held in an open-air tabernacle. Now that was an experience! I actually liked it. It wasn't too hot even though the weather was blistering. The fans and shade of the building along with a cool breeze made for an enjoyable service. I got to meet our D.S., Rev. Ron McCormick and his wife as well as many other folks on the district. They were all exceptionally nice to us and welcomed us to the district with open arms. I was surprised, after all we came moving in without an invitation and without taking a church, I assumed they would at least be suspicious. We explained we were on a Sabbatical and felt God leading us into some non-traditional ministry. They were very encouraging and offered to help in any way they could!

Things are going fairly well at home as well. We got the fence up in the back yard and I fixed a doggie door in the screening that originally was for some kind of small toy dog. I added some 2x4's to make it bigger for Buddy to use and he seems happy. He goes out back, does his thing and is back in about 3 minutes waiting at the sliding glass door! He is warming up day by day but is still very shy. We knew it was time for the doggie door when somebody in the neighborhood was putting up siding with a nail gun the other day and Buddy was so scared that he ran up the porch steps lept over the metal part of the porch door and came right through the screen! How he did it I will never know! I am still trying to figure out how he jumped from five feet of steep steps through the door without cutting himself to pieces on the sheet metal.

The kids are enjoying summer vacation from homeschooling (and I think Christy is too). They are learning somethings to earn special treats like going out for ice cream. Daniel learned how to write his name and count to twenty and Tera learned multiplication table up to 3 (multiplied by 1-10). Christy said she was able to complete all the multiplication problems 0-3 written out randomly in less than three minutes! And in our devotional time we have been learning scripture memory verses. For months now we have been working on Psalm 23 adding a verse every couple of weeks. Daniel and Tera were able to recite Psalm 23 clearly and perfectly word for word! These kids scare me sometimes.

Well I suppose that's all the latest news I have for now other than what we put on our other blog posts. Thank you all for checking in on us and praying for us.

The Puzzle

My kids have been mesmerized by the miracle of the jigsaw puzzle lately. Our house is decorated by a scattering of Spiderman, Strawberry Short Cake and Dora the Explorer puzzles. They are amazed by their new found ability to assemble the pieces of a puzzle into the picture on the box.

I feel like our life has been like that lately. People always email and call saying, "so what is it your doing? What's this all about?" And I have to go talk to the East Tennessee D.S. this week and explain the same thing. The truth is, its a puzzle. The pieces are all scattered around and we are just not sure how they will fit together. Creative worship elements that we used in our prayer stations are one piece. They were fantastic and helped, not only adults and teens, but even our children connect with God in new and exciting ways. Story telling, object lessons, participatory worship is another puzzle piece. And even though I don't ever plan to be on any kind of platform (stage) again, it seems that teaching (even preaching?) is a gift I cannot ignore or assume has no purpose in my life.

A third piece is our fascination with house churches (or at least my fascination). The truth is we have never been to one as a family although I had visited one with newly saved friends as a teen. I visited that church very reluctantly while I still partied and was getting into trouble. Some friends of mine who were car-hoppers (guys who went around stealing whatever they could from unlocked cars) and drug users. They walked up one day and said, "we got saved!". We looked at them strangely but could not deny the incredible change that came over all of them. They invited and invited until I agreed to attend this house church. I only remember sitting in a little apartment that was so crowded with folding chairs that the back of mine was pressed up against the front door. And I remember the prayer which I believed, even at that time of rebellion, that it was a message right to my heart from the lips of God warning me of the certainty of spiritual death had I chosen to continue on my path. I have never forgotten that intense moment. Since then, I have come to understand the kind of church structure that changed the world in the New Testament was very different from what we call "church" in the Western world today. Of all the different movements I have looked at, it seems the freedom and intimacy that house churches produce is most faithful to a New Testament understanding of "Church". What the house church folks are fond of saying (and I agree with totally) is that the "Church" is wherever two or three are gathered be it on a park bench, over a cup of coffee or in a room with worship music playing.

A fourth piece of the puzzle is our desire to connect with GenXers or following generations who are looking for something real and intense in a relationship with God. They are just not finding it in our traditional churches or the "new fab" contemporary churches that are "seeker sensitive" or trying to be so "culturally relevant". Following Jesus means that you can't be relevant to everyone. Jesus hand picked a small group of disciples as an inner-circle. He explained things to the culture that they couldn't possibly understand and would only provide in-depth explanation to his little inner-circle. Yes, he ate with sinners and was in their world, but he was never "of" that world. He always freaked them out and called them to something more! I have a desire to be in the world, walk, work and live alongside people who don't know Jesus. But I always want to freak them out with excessive love, compassion, caring, giving, and being. If they see my life and think, "he's one of us", then I missed the whole point of Christlike living. Today's generations are not fooled by religious churchy folk who want to carbon copy others but neither are they fooled by pseudo-christians who curse, party, and listen to vulgar anti-Christian music just to be accepted by non-Christians. (oops got off on a soap box, sorry....well, not really sorry:)

Finally, (and I probably missed one) there is the worship music. Christy and I have found such joy with a simpler form of worship music than we are used to. Now don't panic, we are not anti-hymn people! But lately we have been worshipping with music that has the sound of folk but the words are simply Psalms set to acoustic music (acoustic guitar, other strings and hand drums-no drum kits or electric stuff). Its a very inclusive, 'world-music' sound that is very awesome and seems like it will have its place somehow.

Other pieces? The Smoky Mountains? The East Tennessee District of the Church of the Nazarene? Denso Manufacturing? Nebo Mountain? Who knows! We have no idea how these pieces may or may not fit together. We don't know if there are pieces that are not yet revealed or that we have not recognized at this moment. Right now the puzzle is laying scattered on the coffee table of God's throne room and He's smiling.

Where does the time go

Have you ever looked at old pictures of yourself and your kids and wonder where has the time gone? It just seems that life is passing by so quickly. Why do we waste so much time worrying and fretting over little things when life is passing us by? Let's live life to the fullest. Enjoy your kids, your family, your dog while you can before it passes you by. Serve God and enjoy the freedom only He can offer you. Don't let it pass you by. SMILE at a stranger, SMILE at your kids and thank God that you have teeth. Don't let the little worries of life steal your joy but as the saying goes "Live Love Laugh" or something like that.

Will God Protect Us?

My wife and I have been having a difficult time with my work schedule. I come home after dark and we both worry about the safety of my wife and kids while I am not home. My wife said last night, "I know that God can protect but what if he chooses to allow something bad to happen for some reason?" The next day we were heading out for our daily walk on the bike trail in Townsend. I always head out with the dog first and he bounds down the front steps, the kids followed with Christy locking the door. Coming down the front steps Christy exclaimed, "You guys, there's a snake and your walking right by it!" Sure enough there was a baby rattlesnake right in front of our front-door steps. The dog walked over it, I walked over it, the kids tromped over it and none of us were bit. Talk about God's protection! Rattlesnakes have two types of poison in thier venom, a toxin that eats away human flesh starting the digestive process and a toxin that affects the nervous system affecting breathing. I read on the internet that baby rattlers can actually be more harmful than adults because they have more of the neurotoxin. And here was this snake poised and ready to strike but still God held back its fangs from harming us!

The Lord is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer;

my God, my strength, in whom I will trust... Psalm 18:2

Why I Like House Church

I found a bunch of cool videos of house churches on Utube. Most of them are in large cities. Of all the types of "non-traditional" churches I have looked at, house church has been the most attractive. The NT churches are house churches and it seems to reflect the spirit of authentic Christian community. I think this particular house church is in the Midwest somwhere and I like the interview style video. Notice how the children are included as part of the congregation. They are not saying how much they like thier Children's program or youth group, but they are actually part of the congregation! Well, take a look and get an idea of where we hope to head in the future.

The View From Mt. Nebo

I find it terribly ironic that God has given us a place to live on Mount Nebo. In Deuteronomy 34 God takes Moses up Mount Nebo to see the promised land that he will never be allowed to enter in. It is another story of God's people that emphasizes the importance of our journey and that no place on this Earth, physically, ideologically, or socially is our final destination. Our final destination is the presence of God through Jesus only. But there is something that we are striving for, a promised land we have an innate need to seek out. The various forms of what I call "Alternative Communities of Faith" are doing just that. Emerging Church, Open Church, House Churches are all seeking that promised land, living in the real presence and promise of God here in this place. I have been reading Dietrich Bonhoeffer's book, "The Cost of Discipleship" and seem to have found an instant identification in the area of frustration I have had specifically with the Emerging Church and Open Church communities. There are several places just in the introduction that I feel Bonhoeffer's frustration when he writes,

"...It is no use in taking refuge in abstract discussion, or trying to make excuses, so let us get back to the Scriptures, to the Word and call of Jesus Christ himself. Let us try to get away from the poverty and pettiness of our own little convictions and problems, and seek the wealth and splendour which are vouchsafed to us in Jesus Christ."

That is what I seek, to get out of "discussing" what is "wrong" with the world and the "established church" or the traditional minded Christian and get into Jesus Christ through the Word and call. I think the temptation of being on top of Mount Nebo is to want now what we see and cannot have at the moment. In the process of longing for the promise we collapse into blabbering heaps that constantly jibber about what is wrong with the other guy. We are on the constant defensive waiting to react against the next critic of our movement.

I am frustrated with God today. We have been brought to Mount Nebo; gazing across the plain at the promised land. Intimate fellowship with a group of serious disciples committed to the "Word and call of Christ". What Bonhoeffer envisioned when he directed an illegal Church Training College on a Baltic peninsula seeking to establish a "community life". Or as G. Leibholz writes in the Memoir of the book;

"...how in the twentieth (twenty-first) century a Christian life should be lived in a spirit of genuine brotherhood, and how such life could naturally and freely grow if there were only men who entirely belonged to the Lord and, therefore, in brotherly love to one another."

Yes, I can see it, the promise of God fulfilled for me but across the plain. Down there in a valley that is still very far away. The temptation is to fall into criticism of the established church and defending myself against real or imagined attacks. Yes, standing in view of the promise while still in the midst of the wilderness wandering is an almost embarrassing place to be. But the vision is mine, given to me and I will wait on God while trying my best to think and respond in love to all those who are trying their best to seek and fulfill the vision God has given them. Moses may have died on the journey but he lives in the promised land!

He's God and He knows what He's doing

In my devotions last night in a book by Grace Fox called " 10-Minute Time Outs for Moms", I ran across this quote:

"Indeed we can trust God. He may not always provide as we might choose. He might make us wait longer than we would prefer. He might answer with unexpected means. Sometimes He allows us the privilege of walking through lean times to experience the joy of contentment with little. Whatever He does, it's His business- He's God, and He knows what He's doing. Our job is to trust."

Wow. Did you catch that? It's a privilege to go through hard times because it produces contentment and joy. I know this is sounding a lot like my last post but this is a lesson that keeps coming up in my life and my devotions. I starting thinking if we truly want to be Christ-like doesn't that mean going through some suffering? Our Lord was and is victorious but we cannot skip over the suffering He went through. If we are to truly identify with Jesus, we have to suffer. Now don't get me wrong, I cannot say I wish to suffer but maybe I should. Maybe I should worry more about my spiritual growth than my physical circumstances. There is something miraculous that happens when we look past our situation and focus on Christ and His wonderful grace bestowed upon us.

My prayer is that through this time of transition, God will work in my life more than He ever has. I have already realized some attitudes and thought patterns that need to be prayed out of my life. I do not think we let God reveals things to us when we are in the "land of plenty" but it takes getting into our "desert of isolation". We do not need God as much when things are going our way or we are comfortable in the body. But when we hit hard times where do we turn with fervor, to the One who loves us. It is in these times, God gently says "My child, here is what you are now, but I love you too much to let you keep on doing these things that keep you from seeing my power move in your heart and life. I want you to become what I have envisioned for you from the beginning of time. Keep seeking Me, and let Me show you that I am all you really ever needed. I am where you find true contentment and joy."

The Joys of Hardship

I have come to a conclusion about hardship- perceived and real. Hardship does two things- it brings out the best and the worst in us. Let's start with the best. Hardship often unearths our hidden talents that God has given us. When we go through hard times, we have to cope with it. At times we have to do things out of necessity that we never had to do before. For me, it's cooking. I have never considered myself a good cook well maybe an ok one but never good. Since we have moved, I have been trying to stretch the dollar so we have been eating home cooked meals (a lot of times from scratch) which would fall into my realm of the workload. Not to toot my own horn, but I have really discovered I am quite a good cook. Soup is becoming my specialty. My husband seems to enjoy our meals more and my children are trying all kinds of new dishes. (I'll try posting some pictures next time) I never would have discovered this had we had all the money in the world. So the hardships we so despise can actually make us more into the person God created us to be.

Now, the worst. Hardship tends to work out all the things hidden under the surface of our "perfect" lives. Bitterness, resentments, prejudice, critical spirits, superiority complexes....well you get the picture. When these things surface we can deal with them with God's help and overcome in time or we can wallow in them feeling sorry for all the injustices we have experienced. ( I hope you picked up on the whininess of that last bit). We can turn the worst part of hardship into the best part by letting God draw us closer into His presence. I have come to the point where I want to grow past the worst and let God make me more into the compassionate, caring, loving, kind, generous, holy person He intended me to be in the first place.

Dear brothers and sisters, whenever trouble comes your way, let it be an opportunity for joy. For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be strong in character and ready for anything.

James 1:2-4

Me do it! Me do it!

As I was going through my daily ritual of killing ants in my daughter's room and now the hallway, I started thinking. Last week, I gave up. I said I am calling a professional to come and fight this problem because I cannot do it. It cost some money up front for them to come out. (they are coming tomorrow morning, praise the Lord!) I am usually very frugal when it comes to spending money so I have been feeling extremely guilty about paying someone. I keep telling myself- if only we tried harder or waited longer maybe we could have overcame it on our own. But I am so tired and weary that I just couldn't do it any longer.

Why do we feel guilty about not being self-sufficient? Why is it that we feel bad about asking for help or admitting that we cannot do it alone? How many times have we held back from sharing our inmost struggles because we wanted to overcome on our own? Why? So we could say "I did it all by myself"? When my children were toddlers they came to the point where they wanted to do things for themselves. If you tried to help as you watched them struggle, they would say "Me do it, me do it". Then, they would become frustrated and break down in tears. Do we act like toddlers sometimes when it comes to our community of faith? We need to bear one another's burdens. Let's not feel guilty for sharing our hearts with others. Lose the self sufficient attitude that says "I can do it alone". We need each other and we need to call upon the Professional to help us all. God does not want us to do it alone-He's there waiting for us to call upon Him.

Cast all your cares upon Him, because He cares for you.

1 Peter 5:7

Tera lost her first tooth!

Our baby is growing up. After months and months of sporadic wiggling, Tera's first baby tooth came out tonight. Check out more on my personal blog at www.eclecticmomma.blogspot.com

Ants, Ants, Everywhere

Disclaimer: This post is being written by a very frustrated person. Any or all this information may or may not be exaggerated or blown out of proportion due to the emotional state of the writer.

Today my battle has been with ants- those tiny black sugar ants that seem to appear out of no where. One minute there are none then you look at the same spot your eyes just left one second ago in the middle of the counter and there it is. So far they have been limited to the kitchen counter. I have tried the natural remedies- vinegar, keeping everything cleaned up on a daily basis by trying to eliminate all crumbs, drawing a chalk line (ants are not suppose to cross it- HA). I took care of the ones in the kitchen only to answer the phone in the bedroom to find JP's nightstand table covered and some on the floor around it. JP was calling when I discovered the little boogers. He said forget the vinegar- get the spray. So I sprayed the table, the floor under the table, and the wall around our bed which seems to be the point of entry. Then I had to get the fan to air out the room. I moved the floor screen and found the mystery attraction- a lollipop stick and wrapper. I would like to blame our children but we don't let them eat anywhere else but the table. We did it. Now we are confined to eating at the table even candy. I think I took care of the problem but only time will tell. They seem to always pop up when I least expect it. We'll go a few days without seeing any and then I guess we let down our guard or something because then we are playing this little game again.

It seems as I write these everyday situations, spiritual truths come to mind. These little ants remind me of how temptation and sin creep in on us if we let down our guard. We think "Oh I have a handle on this problem or that addiction or those thought patterns" and we let down our guard. We are not vigilant about sweeping up or wiping up or leaving any trace of "food" for the enemy to zero in on. We think we can make it through the day without our personal prayer and bible study time. We forget to confess our sins daily and ask for help to avoid temptation. We need to be in the habit of confession every day. Just like I need to clean my floors and counters every day. When we confess our sin and ask God to help us overcome our temptations, we are guarding ourselves. Now that doesn't mean that things won't creep in on us from time to time, but hopefully just like my ants those times will get fewer and fewer. Who knows maybe there will come a time when the ants will go away completely. But until then lets keep guard and be vigilant lest we fall into sin.

God cares about blue bathmats.

Have you ever got into the thinking that the little things in our lives are unimportant to God?
Sometimes I have fell into this trap especially lately.

Since we have moved I have had to deal with a lot of mixed emotions. I have struggled to find a new time and place for my personal devotions and prayer time but the last few days I think I have found the answer. After JP goes to work and the kids go to bed I have the house to myself for a long time. I have started a Lectio Divina study on the book of James. Every night it seems like God is speaking to me about another issue in my life that needs work. This bible study was written exactly for me. It has been great to get reconnected to God through a daily time of bible study and prayer.

If you are wondering what the title has to do with my ramblings, here goes. For a long time we have said we want our house to be one where the power of God is seen in our lives. We want our kids to see His power move in our everyday life. Lately I have been looking at life pretty negatively but through my times of prayer the last few days, I sense God changing my attitude about everything. The place we are renting has this type of marble flooring in the living room, hall and bathroom. We have had yellow bathmats in the bathroom but they show up dirt so bad that I have had my heart set on getting a blue bathmat. Since JP hasn't been working for one whole week yet, I couldn't justify any thing that I consider a luxury. This morning we had to go out to Wal-mart for some necessities. I prayed "Lord, if you want me to have a blue bathmat, give me one today at a cheap price." We were dropping some things off at the Salvation Army and passed one of those discount houses with all the rugs and mats outside. JP said "Let's stop on our way back" So we did and there outside I had my pick of blue bathmats at the cheap price of $5, which ended up being $3.75 because they were having a sale. I was so excited, I told the cashier about the answer to my prayer. We also found an awesome area rug for the living room. I have never seen our kids more excited. They sat on that carpet all night.

The Lord is teaching me or should I say reminding me, He cares about the little things that matter to us. We need to remember that God is not bored or irritated when we bring Him the little things in life.

God cares about blue bathmats because He cares so much about me.

Back to the grindstone

The old time-clock. I started back to the work-a-day world last week. Beginning an entry level position at Denso Manufacturing. They make the circuit boards that run your car's air bags, sensors, etc. At the moment I am a professional rubber stamper (I rubber stamp the production codes on the circuit boards after they are come out of the oven. This is my first time in this business and I can honestly say I really enjoy it. I am working through a temp agency right now but I am also applying to be hired by Denso directly. The funny thing is that, after six years in college (and getting myself in lifelong debt to the loan companies) I can walk into a place like Denso and get an entry level job making more per year than any professional position I have held in ministry OR social work! And the big educational requirement??? a high school diploma or GED. If I would have started there at 21 I would be clearing more than if I'd gotten a master's degree in counseling by now. And so, here I am trying to learn a new job at 36 years of age while I am surrounded by twenty-somethings. The real kicker was hearing a 24 and 26 year-old complaining about "getting old".

The struggle is in wondering what God has us out here for. It may be to share the gospel with our neighbors if we thought we could get past the rottweilers and pit bulls wandering the yards and streets. I suppose we will find out when God decides it's time and when he provides the opportunities. I must say, that if we are put on a temporary 'shelf', then I can't think of a better place. I can't helped but be overwhelmed by God's presence every time I go to Walmart, work or to the grocery story and then turn for home only to be mesmerized by the panoramic view of the Smokies towering in the sky. I don't think I will ever get over them, it always takes my breath away. I can't wait to get my kayak in the river and get my family on the trails. We walk every day on a great bike trail in Townsend and have only seen about six bicyclists total. And the kids seem to really be enjoying themselves.

Wait on the Lord. Be of good courage and he will strengthen your heart. Wait, I say, on the Lord! (Psalm 27:14)

This is my verse given to me as a brand new Christian. This is the only one that was given to me in such a unique way. Maybe because God knows I need to be taught and retaught the importance of waiting on God all the days of my life. Well, I guess if I have to wait, I might as well do it in the Smoky Mountains!

Our recent family pics

Tera at our last service at the Jerseyville church, Easter Sunday
Daniel looking all GQ
Our road trip down the Foothills Pkway. Notice Daniel is ready for a bear encounter!
Our kids standing in the back of the moving truck.
Ahhh, Tera is ready to shmooze anyone! And Daniel is a superhero in training. (that's his caravan scarf by the way).

I am not in any of these because I have been the one taking the pictures. Quite convenient.

You Can Do It!

I am writing this a whole lot earlier than I am used to being up, but I was awoken by a child who couldn't find his blankie and was scared of the dark. This in turn woke up the dog. Yes, the dog. We are in the trial period of adopting a rescue dog. He is the sweetest dog in the world and reminds me of a dog my friend Kathy had, Daisy, except Buddy is real skinny. Well, Buddy (his name was Bullet but being non-NRA members and predominantly passivist, we decided Buddy would be more appropriate), is the most shy and timid dog at this point I have ever met. If he were human, we would say he has low self-esteem. He has always lived in a kennel so does not know what all the sounds of a house or people living in a house are like. He doesn't like to walk through doorways or up steps. Our bedroom is right off of the kitchen at the end of the house and since that is where he sleeps he has to walk through our smaller doorway to get out. This has been a problem. He doesn't want to and ends up being carried out physically by JP. (JP is out walking him right now.) We have been working on getting him to walk through on his own. So I stand on the other side in the kitchen and praise the dickens out of his baby steps. He takes two then paces backwards, then tries again getting a little closer each time to the threshold. He'll stick his nose over and sniff then decide "I'm not so sure about this", then turn around for another pace in our bedroom. All the while, I am at the door saying "come on Buddy, You can do it! Good boy" and petting him everytime he makes a step. This morning I almost gave up, but I didn't and Buddy walked (well ran rather frightful) through the threshold over to the other side.

This got me to thinking about our relationship to God. Yes, we are the dog in this analogy. How many times does God put us in a new situation that we know nothing about. We are nervous and apprehensive. But God is saying to us, "Come on my child, You can do it! See I told you, it would be okay." Our heavenly Father loves us so much and just like we can see the potential in Buddy, He sees our potential as we are obedient to Him. Philippians 4:13 " I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

Things that go bump in the night!

Last night or should I say very very early this morning, we heard scratches and bumps from what sounded like something coming in through the floor or the wall behind the refrigerator and then from our closets. Insane thoughts of what it might be flooded my mind- a big hungry bear (well, maybe the scratches aren't that loud), a big ole snake ( I don't hear any rattlers and then I was informed by my wild animal savvy husband that snakes do not make scratching noises), a big ugly hairy diseased rat (I imagined how loud I would scream if I saw something scurry across the floor), a rabid raccoon (somehow I have never found raccoons the least bit the friendly bandit when I heard about how they could scratch the face off of someone), a demonic squirrel (squirrels remind me of rodents which some of you know I am deathly afraid of), and last but not least a stinky ole possum (my mother in law had one get in her house once in Florida.) Now do not get me wrong, I like wildlife but from a distance- a very long distance or in controlled, supervised attraction centers designed for people just like me. These were all possibilities that invaded my mind while I lie awake listening to see if it will continue or just go away. My brave husband got up and went around looking (he even went outside on the porch to check it out) and found nothing visibly there. But like with all things that go bump in the night we just may never know (and probably do not ever want to).

God doesn't do windows.....

and I am not exactly what you would call a Merry Maid. You read in the previous blog about all the cleaning we had to do. Well, while we were doing it this thought occurred to me. God brought us here and to this particular place but He is not going to do the things that physically we can do ourselves. He will give us the strength to do it but He will not do it for us. I can clean windows and I have to admit I wasn't very joyful while I did it. I wish I could say that I was because as a Christian we should give thanks in all things, but it did take me a while to get there. You see I do not think I have ever cleaned windows to have my towel come back gray on the inside of the house. But the view sure improved. Isn't that like our lives? We look through the dirty gray windows of our lives that only we can make a decision to let God help us clean. I am not talking cleaning ourselves up for God to accept us, but I do believe holiness comes when we do what we can do and leave the rest to God. When we have done all we know to do, we fall back into the arms of grace. You'll be amazed how your view will be improved.

Here We Are...

Well, I am writing this on our second night in our new home. I know that everything sounded wonderful from our last descriptions but we realized that we might have romanticized our “find” a little. Now don’t get me wrong, it has everything we need and more, but we still are going through some “culture shock”. I remember reading about it in missionary books, a missionary family would go to a new place and feel so out of place, dealing with inconveniences and lower standards of living, that they would be depressed and out of sorts for some time. Well, that is how we feel now. Our landlord didn’t clean up the mess like we hoped. The two rooms with carpet (our children’s bedrooms by the way) were filthy some still bearing the “evidence” of animals. The porch screens were still hanging off along with the strong smell of cigarette smoke and dust that have kept our allergies burning since we arrived. So here we sit, surrounded by boxes and mess that has to be cleaned up before we can unload boxes. And if you have been keeping up with us, you know we already depleted our belongings by about 40% and now I am determined to do another 40% (starting with some of my tools that I have no place to store).

We were however blessed in many ways on this trip. I think that if God had not intervened we might have found it unbearable. First, we went to pick up the truck on Monday morning. I looked in front of the Uhaul place...no 17-foot truck. I went in and the elderly gentleman sort of winked and said, “no, I don’t have a 17’ truck but there is a 24’ for you out front. I thought you might need the extra space and the supplier said you could have it for the same price.” I couldn’t believe my ears! So now we could take all the things that we placed on the “stand-by” list (though we later wished we hadn’t). And so at about 3:30 PM that day (three hours later than anticipated) we rumbled down the road in our massive 24’ foot truck with everything easily fitted inside. The later start time changed our agenda a little as we planned on being past Nashville by bedtime. As it grew dark we began to see over a dozen baby deer scattered along the roadsides and began to get really nervous. So we decided to stop at Cadiz, KY Super 8. And let me tell you they had a pet room for $5 extra that was just as nice as could be. It had pretty honey pine furniture and smelled as clean as you could want right down to the sheets. We even left a big cleaning person tip because we were so impressed! And then when we finally arrived in Walland, TN I was scared to death to try to get that truck in our little driveway up that high (and narrow mountain road). I took the turn as wide as possible knowing that the length would probably cut the back tires into a ditch. I then said a prayer leaving the outcome in God’s hands and punched the gas. Somchow I made it in the drive and by another miracle turned that truck around and backed up to the porch. I was never so glad to get rid of something in my life as when I turned that thing in! A little while later a very nice couple from a local church ready to help us unload which was another blessing because we were so tired I don‘t think we could have done it alone. Then another individual came by with a casserole for supper. Once again, God has shown himself to be in the midst of this crazy adventure. What’s going to happen next? Tune in next time for the continuing saga...

He Is Risen!

He is risen! The glorious truth of the Christian faith. We serve a risen Christ, not a dead legend but a risen Lord. I read in "The Earliest Christian Confessions" that this was more than likely the earliest of the creedal statements of the church. It was with these simple truths that those who began the first house churches stood. Paul stated that he was satisfied to preach the sole message of "Jesus Christ and Him crucified". Then I think about how I came into ministry with a westernized church system already in place. Creedal statements didn't have much to do with it, I simply stepped in the pulpit and followed the established ministerial patterns. I relied on past practices and testimonies from others who "knew how it should be done" and got along pretty well. Problems and issues are dealt with simply by methods that any organization uses, faith-based or otherwise.

But now things will be different. We can only go where the Holy Spirit leads us. I am not the "pastor" anymore who calls the shots, orchestrates the "worship" and serves as the "go-to person". This will be a community of faith that develops according to the diversity of gifts of individuals who make it up. We begin only with the core truths of our faith and with little else. We start with only prayer and a dependence on the presence of Christ who promises to be in our midst. The fact that our (physical) journey begins with Easter Sunday emphasizes this. We celebrate the simple truth that the Body of Christ gathers around, "He is risen!"

We should not dismiss the Biblical witness to the origins of the Church. We cannot skip along to the Western version and say, "we finally got it right!" I think there is something to be said for allowing the Holy Spirit to direct, evolve, and have full authority in a local expression of the Church. Sounds pretty risky but I do believe it is worth the risk!

Celebrate Our Risen Savior!

Could God Be Up To Something?

Well, we are back! We went to East Tennessee to find a place to live in our price range and guess what? You’ll have to wait until I get to it:) We took off about 5 AM Monday morning after another busy Sunday of services so you know it was a “happy” car-full. Although we were going to our favorite vacation retreat center in the world, (and the one who has the awesome pastor discount!) it wasn’t going to be a vacation. We were driving nine hours to spend one day looking for a rental home and drive nine hours back the following day. Brutal! We told everyone we were going to look at the “prospects” we found, what we didn’t expect to find out was that there was none to look at when we arrived. Our extremely helpful real estate agent basically struck out adding that there were usually a bunch but this time there was nothing in our price range except a little house that was way too small for us and a “possible“ place for rent from some guy named Doug who owned a store in town. We were very depressed after arriving around 4 PM. We decided to drive around town and find the rentals for ourselves. Three hours later we found nothing but “for sale” houses and only one rental we couldn’t even afford to drool over. We got back to the cabin totally bummed out. The only thing left was to try to call Doug, whoever that was.

Well we looked up the business in the phone book and tried to call...no answer, it was closed for the day. Let’s just say that it was not the “happy camper” family that went to sleep that night. We did a lot of praying and I got up early the next morning still praying. Then we called the business again. Doug answered and said that he did have a place for rent but we couldn’t see it. It seems it was vacated (abandoned is more like it) by a family staying there from Texas after Katrina. They really roughed the place up and left it full of junk and he said it was too messy to show. I felt that propriety was a non-issue at this point and I said that we really needed to see something before we went home adding, very emphatically, that we did not care how messy it was!

Now we had been praying for a number of things regarding a place to live. We really wanted our own place, not an apartment. We did not want to live in the larger city in the area but in a more country setting. And, we wanted to be allowed to have our cat with us (she’s been with us ten years...gee whiz, give us a break!) . Then, getting really greedy, we wanted the kids to have their own rooms still. And when I felt like pushing it to the limit, I would “remind” the Lord that we felt he was leading us to start a home worship service and we would need space in our living room to do that. All this for $500 a month or less! Yeah...that’s what I thought too...crazy!

Doug agreed to show us the place and gave us the address saying that it was a three-bedroom (one point!). We got there and found an older but pretty well maintained manufactured home on a pretty mountain road and through the trees in the back yard we could see mountains in the distance (two points!). We walked in and found a large main living room/dining area combined (three points!) and a huge screened in back porch (bonus point!). When I asked about pets he just said, “no problem”. That was it, no pet deposit, no distasteful bitter “sorry, no pets” just, “no problem” (five points!). I like this guy already! Then he showed us the hot tub in a separate porch area (he just broke the grade curve!). Don’t get the wrong idea, it was just an older mobile home and not the Hilton. BUT TALK ABOUT AN ANSWER TO PRAYER!!!

So to make a long story longer, Doug and I shook hands on the deal, we paid our deposit and are moving in ten days. We get to keep the cat. And since we are up in the mountains, we will be adding a dog to the family (which my son has longed passionately for ever since he was old enough to imitate one). We have enough room to do lots of stuff, near the city (10-15 minutes) but still out in the country, have a mountain view (and a hot tub...woohoo!) and we are wondering how we could have ever doubted the God who called us out. Thank you to everyone who has been praying for us. More than this answer to prayer is the affirmation of the truth that God is orchestrating everything, He definitely goes ahead of us and we don’t have to worry about my job or how we will be cared for. He is our sustenance...

Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:3-4 NKJV).

Tired of the Whining!

Whining! I get so much of that as a pastor and get so tired as I think, "can't you just trust God? Can't you get over yourself and your petty needs and just trust God to work it out?" Then I found myself asking God this morning, "what will we do about a place to live? How come we haven't any validation for our steps of faith? How will we live? Where will I work? Waaah waaaah waaaaaah!" God began to speak to my heart, "haven't you used the term 'great adventure' to describe your future?" 'yes', "what adventurer ever waited until they had a homestead before setting out? No, adventurers set out and trust me for their provision, don't sit around whining because they are scared, and are more excited about the possibilities than fearful of the realities!"

When I think of the sleepy little churches that I have seen in the past. I remember thinking, "this isn't the CHURCH! Where is the passion? Where is the fire?" It isn't about jumping people talking in tongues and falling out on the floor in giggling heaps either. I remember, as a new Christian, attending a singing groups concert with a friend at a Pentecostal church. There were people waving arms in the air, shouting in tongues and jumping around. And then there was my friend and I, quiet and reserved Nazarenes. But I had to admit (not being used to contemporary worship) I was overwhelmed in the midst of worship and just felt myself carried away in the spirit. Afterwards, one of the singers came up and introduced herself and chatted with us a minute. Then she said something that really surprised me, she said, "you know, I noticed you guys during the music and you were REALLY worshipping!" Since then I realized something about worship, its more than the show you can put on with shouts and ecstatic displays which has never been something I could conjure up. It's about a heart that really reaches out to touch the Spirit of the Living God and to submit to what the Spirit of God desire to put within you.

The same goes for those whom God has called out. It's more than just the show, the examples of provision and proof of God's power. It's a desire to be faithful, to walk in the Spirit and to do, even the very menial tasks God gives us with all our might! I do not know what lies ahead but I know who goes with me. If God has called me then he will enable me, with the gifts he has already given or with divine empowerment, to accomplish those things he has placed in my heart.

Sick as a Dawg but full of hope!

I have been sick as a dawg this last week and a half. I thought I was getting better then overdid it and have had a rough time these last few days. I am coming out of the haze, though feeling better today than I have in a long time. This blog is serving as our journal through our "process". My husband is the excited blogger while I am the more reluctant one. So it is my job to blog at least once a week. He has been reminding me everyday to do it. So just to please him, I am writing today.

For the past week I have struggled with my daily prayer time, needless to say, when you are sick I think that just happens. But the times I have been able to read the Lord has really given me some Scriptures I have taken to heart. I am just going to share some with you. So here goes:

Revelation 3:8 "I know your works. See, I have set before you an open door, and no one can shut it; for you have a little strength, have kept My word, and have not denied my name." I have truly identified with the little strength this last week.

Psalm 33:20-22 "We wait in hope for the Lord; he is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. May your unfailing love rest upon us, O Lord, even as we put our hope in you."

Psalm 34:8-10 "Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him. Fear the Lord, you his saints, for those who fear him lack nothing. The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing."

Psalm 34: 17-18 "The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."

Psalm 36: 5-8 " Your love, O Lord, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies. Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains, your justice like the great deep. O Lord, you preserve both man and beast. How priceless is your unfailing love! Both high and low among men find refuge in the shadow of your wings, They feast on the abundance of your house; you give then drink from your river of delights."

Christy

The Deed Is Done

well yesterday was the day. I informed the church that we were leaving the week after Easter. I sort of weaved it in a sermon and was concerned that some more "thoughtful" people might space out and miss it. But, I didn't have to worry. Though the only people who knew we were resigning was the board, who I knew I could count on for discretion, it seemed the information wagon did its job and even first time visitors knew we were leaving before the start of the service. Yes, you can always count on the grape-vine to bring forth its bounty...amen.

I was very nervous at first but when the time came I felt a tremendous peace that remains with me to this moment. I know God is leading even though every intellectual fiber of my brain says, "what are you doing!?!" We still don't have a place to live. I don't doubt we can find something to get us by for a year but, pardon my fanciful spirituality, I really want to see God provide something. Be it ever so small and grungy, something that, without a doubt, came from his hand. The circumstances are different, but like Jonah, we have cast ourselves on the sea of God's grace and provision and we want our big fish to come by! No, it wasn't the best accomodation money could buy but it served the purpose. It kept him safe and sound and got him where he needed to go next. And it was, without a doubt sent from the hand of God!

Employment I don't worry so much about. We have enough savings to get us by while I look and there are ample opportunities. I have a degree and experience in the social work profession. But I am leaning toward some other employment, probably in one of the factories around the area that seem to have many openings. I have a feeling that I am not going to want to exhaust all my relational energy at work. If I do something mechanical (and that will probably bring me more pay than a social work job) then perhaps I won't want so much to get away from people after work like I do now. Plus a second shift job would allow me time to go hiking and stuff like that during the day. Oh well, this one is in God's hands too.

Obviously there are many unanswered questions and an even greater amount of trust in God's guidance and provision in this move. I don't think I'd want it any other way.

Top 10 Things We Learned In Jerseyville!

Christy and I have been doing a lot of reflecting while trying to keep our minds off the fact we do not currently have a place to live and have 3 weeks left on our notice period. We asked ourselves if we had been "happy" here at Jerseyville and concluded that we had been "happy" in a content sort of way. We likened these last two years to a long car trip that necessitated an overnight stay on the way to our destination. We are glad to stop at a motel and rest but there is still a need to continue the journey. Contentment comes from knowing when to get up the next morning, check out and continue the trip. So, we began to consider, is that all Jerseyville is to us? What was the purpose, point, benefit of being here. I know that we served as the pastoral family to this church, people were brought into the Body of Christ, and I did my best to counsel, serve, love and share from God's word. But in a truly selfish sense (sometimes you have to look at that), what was the point of sticking us here just to move us on in 18 months? We concluded that it was a recovery and resting period to restore us after a pretty bad experience at my first church. But then, as we thought further, we realized that being here at Jerseyville had taught us many things. Our conversation led us to list what we learned and we easily came up with the "Top 10 Things We Learned In Jerseyville!" And so, without further ado, here it is...


#10 JP learned that he had a supressed (and rather child-like) attraction for percussion instruments of African origin (woohoo! boom, boom, boom!)

#9 Christy learned that she had the gift and talents to be an exceptional stay-at-home-mom and homeschooler!

#8 JP learned that he was not a ministry-misfit, but that he could be "successful" as a traditional pastor (even though he now knows that this is not the kind of minister he is to be).

#7 Christy learned that worship was more than just music and first had the freedom to explore this concept at Jerseyville.

#6 JP learned that he could help lead singing with the guitar (having never before played for large groups) and even keep a steady rhythm (most of the time).

#5 Christy learned that she is a genius at budgeting (while JP learned he is an utter moron at budgeting).

#4 JP learned that (according to the NewStart assessment team, bless thier hearts) we have the gifts and graces to start a new church.

#3 Christy learned that she had more gifts than just leading music and practiced many forms of creative worship while at Jerseyville.

#2 JP learned that mowing a lawn for three hours is more fun if you aren't the only person on the mower list!

And the number one thing we learned during our time at Jerseyville Illinois...


#1 Christy learned that "IT'S NOBODYS BUSINESS BUT MY OWN IF I WANT TO WEAR PANTS TO CHURCH!!!"

I Believe It's Time For Me To Fly!

Well were off! Finally the time has come for the dreaded traditional church board meeting resignation thing. And it was just as crummy as I expected. All the unhealthy relationships, transferring and old wounds inflicted by a dozen other pastors and church members came out. Tears, anger, accusations and the old, “I know you are following God but why?” What higher praise for a minister than to be spoken to as if God were not in the equation when making a life changing decision for he and his family! The one I liked best was being accused of being “misleading”, why? Because new people were attached to me and might leave now. I guess being kind and encouraging church attendance was the wrong approach, I suppose I should have been rude and nasty to people so they would not become attached to me. Just another example of the twisted thinking that infects so many institutional churches. I was very thankful when a PK board member stated very simply, "I am not surprised, I could tell this was coming from the direction of your sermons and ministry. And you have to go where God leads you". Thank God some folks see things through lenses of faith!

On the positive side we begin the new journey that has been incubating in our hearts for two years now. This is a real leap of faith as we don’t have a home picked and, though there are lots of possibilities for employment where we are going (East Tennessee), I do not have a definite source of income at present. Woohooo, jump on God’s roller coaster! We are not taking a church or have any intention of re-entering the traditional/institutional church environment (thank you, Lord!). Our last Sunday is Easter Sunday and we head out the following week. We covet the prayers of all our family and friends who will be keeping up with us. It is our deepest desire that our children along with their parents will truly experience God’s power and provision in their lives. We may not have much (and we do live within our means...poor), but we want to learn to be thankful and rich in provision from the hand of God. It won’t be easy leaving this middle class life on a below-poverty level income. And we can’t think of anything more exciting!

I do.......

Last night, my husband resigned his position as Senior Pastor of a small church in Illinois. Yesterday was our anniversary- 13 years. So many things have gone through our minds. I was reminded of the monumental decision I made 13 years ago when I said “I do”. You see 13 years ago we eloped on our Spring Break at Trevecca. There were very few people who knew about it, our friends were shocked and some eyebrows were raised at our seemingly spontaneous action. But God was working behind the scene arranging things that no one else knew about. His timing proved perfect in more than one situation. Was I scared? You bet- scared to death at 19 to be marrying some ex-druggie become Christian but I loved him and still do. Besides becoming a Christian, he was and has been the best thing that ever happened to me.

Now, to the present- last night we took a monumental step- a leap of faith if you will. We feel God has said- “Do you believe me?” “I do”; “Do you trust me to meet your needs and provide for your family?” “I do”; “Will you follow me though the path looks hard and you cannot see very far ahead?” “I will”. God has been working in our hearts in ways that people cannot even begin to know or understand. Just like 13 years ago, people will be shocked, eyebrows will be raised and some people will just feel they have been wronged. But when God calls, our only answer can be- I WILL!!- WE WILL!!!

A Blog In Waiting!

I realize that, if you happened to stop by our blog you have yet to see anything. Well this is a blog in waiting. A chronicle whose dawn has yet to show its spark. Keep checking back...the beginning is near!